If You Go Down To The Nene Today….The Nene River Swimming Glossary
May 17, 2013
As with any strangely dedicated group of people, our local swimming group have developed their own language. Here are a few terms and phrases to allow you to properly converse with our oddest of odd bunches:
Definition: Bioprene is used to describe body fat.
Usage: “I’m packing a bit more heat than you as I have more bioprene.”
Definition: A swuggle is a non swimming friend.
Usage: “I can’t come swimming today I have some swuggles coming to visit.”
Definition: A calorie window is the half hour time period after an open water swim during which no calories count. You can eat whatever you want during this period.
Usage: “I’ve bought muffins and cake for the calorie window.”
Fresh Water Jellyfish
Definition: A fresh water jellyfish is a nettle that has been cut and is floating in the river.
Usage: “Bloody b@$&ard fresh water jellyfish just stung me!”
Definition: Wimpsuit is a derogatory term for a wetsuit.
Usage: “No, of course you can’t wear a wimpsuit, this is swimming not bondage.”
Definition: A Tansor is a measurement of current used almost solely by me. It’s measure by how many seconds it takes for a stick to float a third of the jetty at Tansor Rowing Club.
Usage: “The river was at 6 Tansors when we had the mega flood but now it’s back to it’s normal 50 Tansors.”
The Black Plague
Definition: Derogatory term for either a person wearing a wetsuit of a group of people in wetsuits.
Usage: “Looks like he’s got the Black Plague.” Or “I’ve been swimming all winter and I turned up today and the Black Plague were everywhere.”
Definition: Tricky describes a swim that will end in certain death.
Usage: “These ice covered rapids look tricky.”
Definition: Toasty describes water temperature ranging from absolute zero Kelvin up to about 8C after which it’s referred to as tropical.
Usage: “Man alive, this water is toasty today.”
Definition: Tropical describes water temperature over 8C.
Usage: “Blimey, this water is tropical today.”
Let me know of any of your in jokes, terms and phrases either in the comments bit below or on twitter here: DanielMartinAdv